Crunching the Numbers God's Way

What do you get when you cross a CO State Corrections Officer with a stay-at-home-mum, who works aprox. 11hrs a week?  Oh yeah, and throw in a special needs child? A financial journey that only God can make add up :) 

We were able to afford to adopt Iann in large part from a very unexpected inheritance. We didn't ask anyone for help (apart from plane tickets from our parents), we did no fundraisers or things like that. I think those are all great ways to fund an adoption. but not what we chose. To make up the difference we took out a small loan, that we paid off last summer with the adoption tax credit.

What we didn't take into account, what we couldn't have taken into account, was the cost of raising a child with Fragile X Syndrome, autism and hearing loss. 

Sure, we have insurance. The State provides it's employees with pretty good, but costly, insurance. Most of our co-payments for Iann's therapy are $50 a pop, one is as low as $30. There is a state insurance program that we financially qualify for,  that would cost us about $20 a year in premiums and $5 a therapy session, however the children of state employee's are not eligible. Catch 22.

When Iann was diagnosed, we immediately got him on the wait list for 2 medicaid waivers - one for kids with autism, one for kids with long-term care needs. Medicaid will pay what our primary insurance doesn't - co-pay's, deductibles, etc. The wait list for them both is 2-3 years.

For the first year of this journey, my dad pretty much underwrote Iann's needs. Now, he supports us by paying me to work in his insurance company. We swallowed our pride and approached our church, and received a very generous check that helped for a few months. Then, we got a chunk when we sold Jon's car. Now, that money has almost all been used up.

Some of you may think that I am being too transparent with all this, wondering where I am going? Give me a paragraph or two and I'll get there.

In our almost 10 years of marriage, God has always provided means for us to pay our bills. Many people are still loosing their houses, having their utilities turned off, etc. We are nowhere near to experiencing that.  And I realize that we are lucky not to be. Jon has a steady job, from which he will never be fired. Again, we are lucky there too.

So, yes. I am worried about how we'll meet Iann's monthly needs when the money from Jon's car runs out. It would be dishonest for me to pretend otherwise. And yes, there is more to our financial situation than just Iann - Jon's back and my multiple surgeries in the last few years are still things we're paying on. Along with one or two things we probably shouldn't have bought.

Bottom line: there have been months when I don't see how all the bills got paid. I do a budget at the start of the month, and we sometimes don't have enough coming in, to cover what needs to go out. But, somehow we do. I don't go back and check every little thing at the end of each month, I just thank God for whatever happened and move onto the next one.

One of my biggest worries lately has been our tithing. We just flat out don't have enough money to tithe the expected 10%, or really anywhere close to that. There have been times when we did, but not since God gave us Iann.

And there's the point.

I truly believe God plans out who are kids will be. Of all the Korean boys born in August 2008 who were put up for adoption, God earmarked Iann for us. I truly believe that. Now, let's not get into what would have happened if Alex hadn't passed away, because I can't go there. He did and so we adopted Iann.  God could have placed him in the family of a lawyer, or Dr. or architect.

But he gave him to us.

I believe that every time we pay for a therapy, a sedated hearing test, a Dr's visit because of another cold/sinus infection, another set of tubes in his ears, another set of braces for his ankles, etc. etc. etc. we are giving back to God. After all, what else is a tithe but giving back to God some of what he gave to us?

Brynn's 7th b'day party

Yep, we did a McDonald's birthday party. Brynn wanted to take 2 buddies to Grand Junction and go to Chuck-E-Cheese, but then had a hard time picking just two friends! So this was the other option - took NO work on my part, which was a-ok with me!

A little 3am perspective

For those of you who have read my posts from the start of this blog, you will remember that I frequently used to post in the wee hours of the morning, while Iann was awake in his crib. Due to a wonderful pediatrician, who realized that this mama was close to breaking point from 2 yrs worth of lost sleep, Iann now gets a little medicine to help him sleep all night. It's not perfect, and he still has nights when he's up, but they are few and far between.

Last night, it was Brynn up at 3:30am with a bad dream. He settled very quickly, while I laid in bed awake. I'm not sure that I fell back to sleep again until after Jon got up to go to work at 5am.

What kept me awake?

1) I started thinking about how my legs were aching. Worrying that I had overdone the 5k training, and so was going to be too tired and sore to finish Saturday's race without walking. I stretched my muscles, trying to find a sleeping position where they didn't ache quite so much.

2) I was also worrying about the race track, which I think is dirt, and how that would be adversely affected by the snow.

3) As for my lenten discipline of clearing out a bag a day from my house, in order to make it a place of beauty, reflecting God's beauty, I was worrying that yesterday's bag didn't 'count.' I was given some clothes, and passed along those that didn't work for me, so was passing along a bag I had just received within the guidelines?

I finally fell asleep, dragging myself up at 6:45 to rouse the kiddos and get ready for school. Rush, rush, rush. Iann didn't like his breakfast this morning, so the whining level was high, which grinds on my tired nerves. Brynn's birthday party is after school today (he's 7 tomorrow!!!!) and so he couldn't focus at all this morning.  We got out the door in time, with the dishes still on the table, and the kids were both dropped of just in time.

Driving home I was changing mental gears into work mode - I have set aside this morning to do my editing work for Disciple Nations Alliance. Then I walked into my messy, dirty kitchen and knew that I wouldn't be able to settle to work with that mess around me. So I decided to clean it up.

As I was doing this I recalled an excellent thing I heard on KLOVE yesterday. The lady was talking about how we often choose to limit our children to one activity at a time, with maybe an instrument also. That allows our kids time to focus on their main job right now: being kids and going to school.

Brynn is super tired these days because he has been skiing every weekend, as well as doing karate 3 times a week, and Jon and I realize that will need to change next winter. For most of the year, however, Brynn's one thing is karate. 'I'm doing well with that,' I thought as I listened to her.

My thoughts drifted as she then asked if the adults in the family do that: do we limit ourselves to one thing at a time? 

That concept slammed home as I was cleaning this morning. Here I am exhausted because I was awake worrying about a 5k race tomorrow, stressing to get the breakfast dishes cleaned up so it doesn't eat into my work time, wondering what my bag will be today and when I'll have time to fill it.

So here is the challenge people: what is your one activity?

For those of us in charge of our households, and maybe working one, or two, side jobs to help pay the bills, what is our one extra thing? Do we have time for one extra thing?

For me, at this point in time, it is running to get healthy and loose weight. If I don't do the race tomorrow because the weather is bad, that's ok. There will be another race, and if not, I'm down 6lbs already so my ultimate goal is working. I don't want running to take over from keeping my house clean and being awake enough to be patient with Iann's whining and focus on my work.

And as for my lenten discipline, there are no rules written down that I am following. A bag into the house, then straight out is fine. It's more the spirit of what I am doing that counts. Already there are areas in the house that show more beauty than they have for the 3 years we've been here, and that is the beauty God see's.

What is your one extra thing? Have you limited yourself as we limit our kids?