Brynn's Kindergarten Graduation

In the world where I grew up, a person graduates from high school, college and grad school. In this world, kids graduate from Kindergarten! Actually, I have heard that some kiddos graduate from pre-school. Wowsers!!

Anyway Brynn had a graduation ceremony last Tuesday: his Kindergarten graduation. In his world, it's totally normal to have a graduation ceremony after one year of school. On the day of his ceremony he went with my mum to run an errand: mum was helping a friend set up for her daughters graduation party. When Brynn found out where they were headed, he said "Oh, she must have just graduated from kindergarten too." Um, no sweetie. From high school. Tee hee hee.

So each child had to recite a bible verse after receiving their diploma from the administrator, and then Brynn's other responsibility was to say the Benediction. We worked on his prayer and he memorized it, with a few hours to spare. He did great: he remembered his bible verse, said his prayer very eloquently, and sat still for 35 mins!!!

Here are some of the best of the 50 pics dad took:

 

 Receiving his diploma

Reciting his bible verse

 Closing the service in prayer

Mama's little graduate :)

Alex's guardian

Dad and Jon went for a hike this afternoon, down into the canyon off the BLM bordering my parents land. They started off at the point where we spread Alex's ashes, hiking all the way to the canyon bed below. Later in the summer the canyon will by dry, but today there was a raging river flowing.

After spreading the ashes, Jon and I wanted to do something to commemorate the spot. Neither of us wanted to put in a bench, or anything really noticeable. We decided to find a small statue and so this little guy sits on the edge of the canyon:

At one point the summer after Alex passed away we brought the statue back to my car, because we wanted to see about getting it cast in bronze, or something like that. After leaving it in the trunk for a while, we decided to take it back out there.

Brynn was with us; he has known that we go to the canyon to think about baby Alex, but doesn't know the true significance of the place. We'll tell him when he's older. He knew I was carrying the statue and watched me place it back under the tree. As we all started to walk away, he absolutely lost it. Turns out he thought we were leaving a little boy under the tree, and so, in his 3 yr old mind, we'd leave him there one day too. Needless to say I carried it back to the car, and Jon took it back another time.

Since then Jon has taken Brynn out there a number of times, but never pointed out the statue to him. It's well enough hidden that Brynn's not seen it. I showed him this picture today, and he recognized the statue. His face got all worried, and I could see him remembering the above event! I gently told him that we leave the statue out there to help us remember Alex. He digested this peice of information, then moved onto the next thing in his day!

I don't go out to the canyon very often. Partly because I don't make the time to - when I go out to mum and dad's I like to relax if Iann is happy! Also, it's down right hard for me to there. To tie Alex down to one place. I feel like I should cry, or rage, or have some deep emotion when I go there. However, I just feel empty. Numb. I suppose that is an emotion.

Dancing Lessons

 

This morning Jon took Iann over to his friends house, where he was watching his two kiddos. This little girl enjoys playing with Iann, and I think the feeling is mutual! 

I'm not too sure that Iann fully understood what was happening, but Jon said he wasn't unhappy about it :)

(Sorry for the poor quality, Jon's cell doesn't take the best movie's)

Reflections on Temple Grandin

A week ago today, at this very moment in fact, Jon and I were sitting in the Palm Theater in Telluride listening to Temple Grandin. If you don't know who she is, let me tell you in a few short words. Temple Grandin is a Professor at CSU, has designed over half the meat packing plants in the US, and has autism. If you would like to learn more about her life, Claire Danes starred in a very good HBO movie, playing the character of Temple Grandin, called Thinking in Pictures. Jon and I watched it shortly after receiving Iann's diagnosis and really enjoyed it.

On one hand, listening to Temple speak to a crowded auditorium was inspiring: she didn't talk until she was 3 years old and has traditionally struggled to make eye contact. On the other hand, it was overwhelming because she is very much a lady with autism.  She is opinionated, and convinced that she is right with her opinions, and she repeated much of her message many times.

Her two main points were that children with autism need to be taught manners and given a chance to succeed in the areas where they are strongest. She was clearly unimpressed with parents who excuse their child's behaviors due to his/her autism. She was taught manners by her mother, and believes that all children be taught them.

In the same way, at the age of 13, her mother got her a job as a seamstress twice a week, and by age 15 she was in charge on 9 horses at her aunt's ranch during the summer. She stressed many times that all children, both those with and without autism, should be made to take on a job as a young teenager, even if it just walking the neighbors dog every day. This teaches them very important skills, that will help them for the rest of their lives.

It was encouraging to see a women who was given all the chances her mother could provide be such a success, and yet ... she is still, and always will be autistic.

My main take away was to never give up on our belief that Iann will one day not only talk, but will be a productive member of our world. Jon and I are committed to teaching Iann how to be part of our family and part of our community. We will help him be the best young man that he can, and will watch him carefully to see where his strengths are, and will then help him excell in that area.

Any help and support that anyone else is able to give us - prayer, ideas, listening ears, time to spend engaging Iann - is always welcome :) He is a joy to be around, but, to be perfectly honest, it can be a tiring and sometimes thankless job that we need a short break from! Going to Telluride overnight was a wonderful break, the first time that we have left Iann overnight since he came home. While I did miss my two little boys that night, going to sleep without wondering if I will get to sleep all night, and not having to wake up for anything, was bliss!!!